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Today’s guest post is by Kieran Grogan.
I went for a walk last Tuesday for two hours in the pouring rain. I wanted to spend some special time alone with God in a way many would see as a little extreme.

I walked along  the gravel path on Wimbledon Common and as I looked down at my feet they made that grinding noise as with each step my boot ate into the gravel and I was reminded of my time in the army when after a five or six hour route march in the dead of night over Table Top Mountain in Co Wicklow, my mind and body would be on the verge of collapse but I’d look down at my feet just like all the other soldiers and watch them hit the ground; left, right, left, right, left, right. Totally exhausted, but you know you must keep going one stride at a time never giving in to my body pleading with me to just give up and lie down.

As I continued along the common I was reminded by God to do just that; to keep going, rely on Him, one stride after the other, one day at a time.

My reason for needing this special time with God is that I’m currently going through tests to see if I have cancer. On the fifteenth of January this year I found a lump on my inner thigh. I showed it to my renal consultant, a wonderful Scottish lady named Pauline who sees me regularly to check that my transplanted kidney is functioning well (I had a kidney transplant 24 years ago).

She said, “well Kieran, we need to check that out as it could be cancer, hopefully not but it might be.” After three months of tests and scans including an Ultrasound scan,  MRI scan, CT and PET scans as well as leg and lung biopsies, I am still waiting to be diagnosed. The lung biopsy was needed as some indications were found on my lung during the CT scan. It’s been a difficult few months but with the support of my amazing Beryl and the prayers of so many of my wonderful friends at Westminster Chapel and the brilliant NHS,  I continue to put one foot in front of the other and not give up.

The last few days have been difficult with the leg wound turning a shade of pink: I’ve been diagnosed with cellulitis. I was feeling a bit down going back to the GP to have my leg checked out when just as I was entering the GP clinic Beryl sent me through this text with her reading for this morning. It’s from Nicky Gumbel’s Bible in One Year…

“I can’t even remember his name and I didn’t think much of his talk. We were both eighteen years of age. He had just joined the army. As he stood up to give the talk he produced his army boots as a visual aid. He called one of the boots ‘trust’ and the other one ‘obey’. He described them as the left and right boot of the Christian life. He only spoke for seven minutes, but his illustration hit home and I have never forgotten it.

‘Trust’ and ‘obey’ are, as he said, a very good summary of the Christian life. We see in the passages for today that they are the answer to trials, temptation, worry, anxiety, fear, failure and all the other struggles of life. In particular, Jesus shows us how to stop worrying and start living.

Psalm 42:6-11 (NIV)

My soul is downcast within me;
    therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
    the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

Deep calls to deep
    in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
    have swept over me.

By day the Lord directs his love,
    at night his song is with me—
    a prayer to the God of my life.
9 I say to God my Rock,
    “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
    oppressed by the enemy?”
My bones suffer mortal agony
    as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.”

So, here was God telling Beryl and I that He knew what was going on, He saw everything, He understood our pain and he was telling us to carry on one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, through the pain and uncertainty and to remember that He has promised to be with us through every trial.

And just to prove that He has watched over us all these years and continues to do so. I will tell you that the hymn we had at our wedding, twenty five years ago this month, on the thirtieth of April was “Trust and Obey”.
God knows what you’re going through. He sees and understands your pain. He delights in you, He will never leave you. He will never forsake you. Just Trust and Obey. I’ll leave you with the lyrics of this Truth that Beryl and I sang on the platform at Westminster Chapel on our wedding day, 25 years ago.

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies,
But His smile quickly drives it away;
Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear,
Can abide while we trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet.
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way.
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

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